The Signal for Help: Why Learning Safety Signals Matters

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a time to honor the courage, resilience, and healing journeys of survivors, and to deepen our collective understanding of how to support them safely. One important area of awareness involves hand signals that some survivors use to silently communicate when they need help. Recognizing these signals can be a life-saving skill. Understanding nonverbal ways of reaching out helps create safer pathways for connection, intervention, and support. In some abusive situations, survivors may be closely monitored, isolated, or under constant surveillance, making spoken communication unsafe or impossible. A simple, discreet gesture can sometimes become a vital bridge to safety. As reported by the Observer-Reporter, a woman in California was able to signal for help in a convenience store using a silent hand gesture, alerting a bystander without alerting her abuser. 

The “Signal for Help” is a discreet hand gesture developed by the Canadian Women’s Foundation in 2020 to provide a safe, silent way for someone to indicate that they may be in danger or experiencing abuse. To make the signal, raise one hand with the palm facing outward, tuck the thumb inward toward the palm, and then fold the fingers down to “trap” the thumb. This movement can be repeated or held long enough to ensure it’s seen. While this signal has helped raise awareness worldwide, it is important to remember that no single action can guarantee safety. Survivors often develop unique code words, gestures, or communication plans with trusted friends, family, or advocates, personalizing safety strategies based on what feels most secure for them. 

For advocates, friends, and community members, understanding how to respond when you see a potential hand signal is as important as recognizing it. Our role is to respond with empathy, patience, and care, never with judgment and confrontation. If you believe someone may be signaling for help, try to reach out safely and privately when the person is alone or it’s clear they’re not being monitored. Avoid calling attention to the situation, as this could increase their risk. Instead, ask gentle, non-leading questions such as, “Are you okay?” or “Would you like me to help connect you to someone?” Most importantly, allow the survivor to lead the next steps. Empowering survivors to make their own decisions is central to healing and safety.  

It is important to remember that every situation is different, and what works in one moment may not work in another. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 right away. This information is intended for awareness and education purposes, not as a substitute for professional advice or emergency response. You can also contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or chat securely at thehotline.org.  

Domestic Violence Awareness Month reminds us that safety, healing, and justice are possible when communities come together with compassion and understanding. Learning the “Signal for Help” or other safety tools are acts of solidarity that can save lives. Together, we can turn awareness into action and build a future grounded in safety, dignity, and hope.